Waiting For Thirty

by Corey

I was one of the 137,547 people that actually spent their hard earned money on the 2006 tragedy known as Jay-Z: Kingdom Come. Adding insult to injury, I actually listened to it repeatedly, and sort of hated myself for doing so. To be even more specific, I had a light-weight gripe with the whole "Grown & Sexy" thing and that entire "30-is-the-new-20" declaration. To this day, I am still pondering why anyone would want to re-live their wicked 20's. I'm currently on the the exit ramp of my 20's. Truth be told, it was the decade that defined me, but its the one I pray I never see again.

No matter what knife you use, it slices the same: You are stupid in your 20's. I did a lot if idiotic things and I saw even more blatant ignorance around me. I messed up opportunities at great jobs. I got involved in unhealthy relationships. I wasted precious time spending money I didn't have on things I didn't need. I was being irresponsible, immature, selfish,young and reckless.

My excuse for such behavior: I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a damn. Plus, it doesn't help when you're enlisted in the military during two wars. The GAF meter drops below average and I was living life by the unforgiving mantra "LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG, LEAVE A HANDSOME CORPSE".

The reality is that I was living fast, but I didn't die young. Fortunately, I have been blessed beyond all comprehension. I've dodged the bullet a number of times, which only meant one thing to me: I must be invincible! What other explanation is there for my stupidity being garnished with such immaculate protection? That naiive train of thought only added fuel to the blaze, but that fire eventually burns out.

At some point you have to just man-up and be an adult. All that childish stuff gets old right around age 27, but that's if you are actually growing and maturing. The "Tender Ten" years between age 18-28 was meant to be spent getting as much understanding of the world as possible. From then on, you're being judged. Not by how you look, what you know, what you like, or who you are. You are categorized and thrown into the stereotype of Adulthood. If you haven't evaluated yourself and determined what type of person you are destined to be by now, you will ulitmately be looked upon as irresponsible, unfocused, immature.

 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."- 1Corithians 13:11

When I was younger, my cousin Ronnie and I would always talk about our fears. Our biggest fear was getting old and not realizing it. We didn't want to be the old guys that would make fun of the videos the kids were watching or the music that the teenagers were listening to. We didn't want to be in our 30's and 40's and still trying to dress like we were young. We ultimately wanted to embrace getting older because being grown seemed cool.

There is a certain swagger that comes along with knowledge of self. My experiences have taught me valuable life lessons and I genuinely am honored to have gone through them. The good, the bad, and the ugly have made me the man I am today. As long as I can avoid a mid-life crisis, I'll be just fine, but for now, I'm waiting for thirty.