November 18, 2011

Supernatural vs The Weave & Perms

I said something on facebook last night relating to the fact that most women feel confident when they wear their hair with a weave in it, but most brothers translate weave into "I'm insecure".

I was told this was ignorant and offensive (like I care) but it got me to thinking:

"Are weaves really a neccesity?"

As black people, we always find a way to seperate ourselves. Its always some battle occuring within our race. It's either light-skin vs dark skin, dredlocks vs bald heads, natural hair vs synthetic... WAIT!

Synthetic hair and chemical products are actually something we have control over. I can understand the fued between complextions and skin tones because of The American Complex . I also can see why people choose a preferred hair style, but when it comes to knowingly wanting to put lye and polyester on your scalp and wearing it like an accessory, I just don't understand it.

(It's not for me to understand, but keep reading)

My daughter is 3-years old. At the rate things are going, she's probably going to question why her hair is different than the hair on the dolls she plays with. That's where I step in and will have to say to her, "Your hair is different because you are real baby, and these dolls, they aren't real. so they have fake hair." Would I be wrong in saying that? Nope, not at all. Will she understand that? Of course, my daughter's a genius. I can't change the mindset of every black woman in America, but I don't want to. I do however pray I have an impact on one, my daughter, and that's more than enough.

I'm not trying to bash black women or make them feel any less than the greatness they already possess, I'm just saying, be yourself. BE YOURSELF. Is that too much to ask? If you have a head full of wiry, nappy hair, rock it! If your hair is as thick as cotton, twist it up and get it in. There ain't nothing wrong with being black.  If you feel like you look ugly with the hair God gave you, and you want to put a perm in or sew some weave in, then do you. BY ALL MEANS! If you can feel beautiful with the extraordinary, beautiful, supernatural hair God betowed upon you, you probably can feel beautiful with yaki in your head.

But this isn't about me and what I like, nor is it about what women like. At the end of the day, its all about the kids. Are we really going to raise our kids to believe they have to be synthetic to look good? Are we going to raise your sons to think that a woman is only beautiful if she has light-skin and silky hair? Are our daughters going to feel insecure and ugly because their roots are nappy?

I can't get with that.

So when it all falls down, and we are still grudging with Nappy Hair vs Relaxed Hair/Weaves, the real question is:  "Do we love ourselves enough to be who we are?"


Peace